Whoops - flying low!

Getting dressed in the morning is not often a relaxing time - during the week it’s something that is squeezed into a 30 second slot in between “Muuuum, what socks am I wearing?” (white ones, same as every school day) and “Have you brushed your teeth - then go and do them…” type conversations!

Added to this the fact that my wardrobe is not entirely bulging with those staple items that magazines often go on about. The simple white ‘T’, coupled with the dark perfectly cut slim leg trousers, the stylish raincoat (you know, the kind you just have to sling on, tie the belt and you have instant ‘supermodel-does-school-run look’), the trendy leather pumps and the latest bag. No, don’t have any of that. Well, I’ve got a white t-shirt but its been washed so many times it looks more like Santa’s sack. And my jeans are pretty good, except on the days when I have the ones that are a bit too low cut and seem to lack the will to stay on my hips… And the only accessory I tend to take out these days is an unwieldy dog and a pocket full of poo bags. Still! Never mind…

Today I’m wearing some trousers that I’d kind of forgotten I had. It’s been a while since I last wore them. ‘Oh look’, I thought this  morning, ‘there’s those trousers I haven’t worn in a while - I’ll wear them today.’ An innocent enough thought, until I’d had them on for 10 minutes and remembered why they were at the back of the wardrobe. They’ve got one of ‘those’ zips - the kind that slide down constantly. Slightest bit of pressure (like bending over the sink to brush your teeth), and ‘zzzip!’. There they go. So I’ve a day of constantly checking my flies, and/or constantly pulling down my top to cover the gap, ahead of me.

Then there’s the days when you really (and I mean really) can’t find anything to wear in that wardrobe. The days when everything you pull out goes back: Too tight/baggy, too hot/cold, too ‘going out-ish’, too ’washing the car-ish’, too smart/not smart enough, sleeves/legs are too short (common one this, I’m on the lanky side), doesn’t go with anything (but I still like it which is why I still have it), rides up/down when you sit/walk, etc, etc. Which is why I live in jeans just about every day. Let’s face it, jeans are like the gods of the fashion world. They go with pretty much anything, they can be worn pretty much anywhere except for the poshest/smartest/formalist events, AND (not to be scoffed at) they’re made of a fabric which is strong enough to you know, well, hold in bits. So that’s what I’ll be wearing tomorrow while my ‘flying low’ trousers of today are languishing in the wash before being stuffed into the back of the wardrobe again.

If only everything in life was as reliable as a pair of jeans, eh?! Let’s just hope I don’t end up wearing the low cut ones...